Sex or the Pussy?

By: W.B. Preston

Anjer and Dennis sit on a couch starring at the television. Dennis is flipping channels. Anjer rests her head on the palm of her right hand resting on the arm of the couch.

-Just pick something.
-There's nothing on.
-Then why are you flipping channels?
-Cause there might be something on.
-You just said there's nothing on.
-Something might come on while I'm flipping.

Anjer sighs and jumps out of her seat.
-Hey, wassup?

She turns back to him.
-I'm bored.
-We're just watching tv.
-No we're not.

Dennis motions towards the glowing screen.
-I don't want to sit here while you flip channels.
-Alright.

Dennis turns the tv off and sets the remote down.
-What should we do?

Anjer sits back down.
-Talk
-About what?
-Your cat.

They both look down at the black and white tabby.
-What about em?
-He's weird.
-He's a cat.
-I don't like him on the bed during sex.
-What?

Dennis is genuinely surprised.
-It's weird.
-You never said anything before.
-I'm saying something now.
-Why'd it take you so long?
-I didn't know how to bring it up.
-Well you sure eased into that one.
-Seriously.

The cat looks at Anjer.
-So what, I should just shoo him out of the room before we get naked?
-Preferably.
-He hates to be shooed.
-Dennis.
-What? He's a cat, he's sensitive.
-I'm not doin it with him on the bed.
-What's so bad about it?
-He stares at me!
-You're imagining things.
-It's like he's jealous or something.
-Don't be ridiculous.
-I'm not being ridiculous, you're the one that's ridiculous, having sex with a cat on the bed.

Dennis pulls his hands through his hair.
-I don't want to make this a big thing.
-Well, what's it gonna be? Sex or the pussy?

Dennis looks down at the cat. The cat glares at Anjer.
-See look at em, he's starring at me.
-You're crazy.
-I am not crazy, that cat is evil.
-Now he's evil.
-Look at em!
-He's a cat for christssake. What do you want him to do, change his expression?
-He doesn't stare at you like that.
-He looks at everything the exact same way, cause he's a cat!
-His eyes get squinty when he looks at me, like he's got an attitude.
-Cats can't get attitudes.
-That cat has an attitude.

They sit for a moment looking at the cat. The cat stares at Anjer.
-What's it gonna be?
-Fine, he's out of the room during sex.
-Your gonna keep em?
-What have we been talking about?
-Your gonna let that cat, that obviously hates me, stay here?
-You want me to get rid of my cat?
-Him or me.
-I've known that cat longer than I've known you.
-So.
-My mom gave me that cat.
-Well give it back to her.

Dennis stands up and walks towards the door. He opens it and gestures outside.
-Get out.
-It's not just gonna leave.
-Anjer get out.
-You kickin me out?

He motions towards the hallway.
-I can't believe you pickin a cat over me.

Anjer stands up and walks towards the door.
-I hope you and your cat are happy together.
-We will be.
She walks out. Dennis slams the door. He plops down on the couch and starts flipping channels again. The cat jumps into his lap.